Before my harsh thoughts on tonight's just completed Bears/Falcons Scout Team game, let's go back a few months to a previous blog in which your intrepid Heeblogger wrote:
It is currently 8:18 on Monday night, 9/12, so I guess by anyone's standards, to make my prognostication above reproach, I must make my Falcons season prediction before the opening kickoff in less than one hour against the Eagles at the future refugee shelter known as the Georgia Dome.
Falcons will be 9-7 this year. Way harder schedule and suspect passing game make it charitable to suggest only a 2 game drop-off. Ron Mexico can't remember the snap count on a condom. It concerns me about his ability to maximize the potential of the Mora Coast offense.
As another famous bald man once said, "So let it be written, so let it be done." Actually, now that the playoffs are gone, not even the consolation of back to back winning seasons seems so sure. Tampa and Carolina aren't the Saints or the Lions. They're not even Green Bay.
Vick runs. Falcons win. Vick passes, Falcons lose. Vick passes with a 20 mph wind and Brian Urlacher in his face, Falcons miss playoffs.
Build an offense around Vick, win. Build Vick around an offense, lose. Yet Mora keeps insisting that Vick will not run.
Someone's gotta go. Maybe Blank is on the phone with Houston now. Reggie Bush and Matt Schaub, or Matt Leinart and Warrick Dunn sound more stable than three fullbacks and two running backs. And that defense! Oy! Why is Jason Webster getting any NFL paycheck, and Chris Draft getting a Panther one?
Just get rid of Jim Mora, who, like his dad, can only get a team so far. He might as well treat those dudes to a sex boat cruise like that other cementhead coach in Minnesota. I'm not crazy, I'm just on the vanguard. You'll be joining me in a year.
Here's one call I'm late on to show you I am human: Joe Theisman is a grade A asshole. Not a moment went by tonight where his fingers weren't lovingly stroking Lovie Smith's taint. The Bears lost 5 yards on a play and he still rambled non-stop as to how great their O-line is. The rest of that ESPN crew is pretty obvious with their agenda, too. Limbaugh was onto something a couple of years ago. It was worse than listening to Dan "Two Times" Dierdorf, over at CBS, TV's most excruciating commentator who must believe he is on radio.
After this, I'm going to get some vodka and a tape of Joe getting his leg sawed in half by that crackhead Lawrence Taylor and laugh myself to sleep so that my Hispanic maid finds me in a puddle of drool on the couch downstairs tomorrow morning and gives me a sympathy sponge bath while my wife is out spending.
Happy fucking Hanukkah, Blank. Good luck buying the Braves.
The Bears are pretty good, too.