Just remember this when trouble finds you. There's no problem on earth that can't be smoothed over with a nice, hot Panini sandwich on Texas Toast, not that Italian foccacia shit, and a cold diet soda. Check that. Islamic terrorism still must have it's throat cut. Everything else...try the panini route.
While we're in a mood to do so, let's make ourselves feel good by pointing out the flaws of others' plans:
A friend of mine tells me that he was coerced by his company to go through the dreaded "diversity training" that the dreaded legal profession has foisted upon this struggling nation of confused workers. The exercise he described sounded simple enough. Write down three things you have in common with the human resource sitting next to you, and then three things that you don't have in common.
"What were your three commonalities?" I inquired.
"Well, we both like sports, Family Guy, and Rush (the band)."
"And what did you say your three divergencies were?"
"Well, I think he's a stupid fucking spic."
At least they have more things in common. Diversity training. It really works.
RADIO'S SMARTEST MANtm SEZ:
I'm from the school of thought that if you do not like what I say on the radio, it is a sign of a deep character flaw, and your best course of action would be to listen to our competitors. I don't want your blood ratings.