Today comes the news that Mr. Keith Jackson is retiring from his profession of making hog-calling noises on TV during college football games. He was paid handsomely, was oft-imitated, and will be heretofore referred to as "legendary." Good for him.
Here's the secret to having a career. Quit busting your ass trying to be funny or shocking or even interesting and insightful. It's not worth it. Wanna make some serious coin? Start making weird noises while watching sports. Find your signature grunt. Repeat. $$$$$$!!! Ohmyyyy! Yessss! Whoanelly! Don't step on downed power lines!
You are set for life.