Have you heard? Barbaro is making a remarkable recovery. Barbaro, the horse who has better health care than me, has come from 9 lengths behind death to churn it out for a possible photo finish. But we're not there yet. Oh no. Barbaro, the Seabiscuit of veterinary medicine, is far from the home stretch. The object now is to see if he's anything worth keeping. Will Barbaro produce healthy mares and stallions or a healthy bowl of kibbles and bits? Too bad Barbaro has no writing skills, else he'd be Ann Coulter. (That was wrong and gratuitous, but I do have flaming liberal readers to please. Sorry, my goddess.)
The horse training field, I'm told, regards artificial insemination of thoroughbreds as de facto corruption of the art/sport, much like steroids in baseball are regarded as an assumed negative. I don't know enough about horses to even remember if they have tails (They do? Oh good.), much less be able to tell you whether this belief against artificial insemination is just horseshit or not. But it's important in the calculation of whether this horse, who should have really been downgraded to donkey and beheaded right after his race at the Preakness, IMHO, lives further or gets Schaivoed. A horse that cannot support himself with his two hind legs cannot mount (Did it move? Be honest.), and therefore would be no good to the industry that depends on semen integrity (OK, now it moved.). Better to take the insurance money with a little "Jewish Grooming," winky-wink.
At this point, Barbaro is an equine porn star. Is he healthy? Can he get it up in there? What is the cost/benefit of a horse sex mount support device? These things are what the money people want to know. So, what's the difference between him and Ron Jeremy? Ok, Barbaro is hotter, but that's about it.
Given that a mount-capable Barbaro can get the owners tens of millions more money than a dead, but insured, Barbaro, forces me to conclude that soon, the culture that gave us Barbaro, the horse with better health care than me, will unveil a completely new concept in animal comfort. Ladies and Gentlemen, please clap for Barbaro, the horse with better sex toys than me.