Since everyone knows that saying bad things about Jews is worse than drinking and driving, I sent off this certified letter, cleverly disguised as a top rabbi (yes, I actually wore a rabbi outfit to the post office, you dangling participle Nazis), to Mel Gibson's contacts that I found on some SAG website:
Dear Mr. Gibson--
I am a Rabbi in Atlanta, GA, with my wife, Robyn, and three wonderful children, Eliahu, 10, Yaakov, 9, and Mitzi, 7. I am a big fan of your films. I even enjoyed the Passion, as I like to think of myself as an open-minded person. However, your recent comments about Jews to the police were disgusting and distasteful and reprehensible and hurtful.
What have I done as a Jew to hurt you? I'd really like to know. As I represent a lot of Jews in Atlanta who have enjoyed Lethal Weapon, Mad Max, and occasionally, Bird on a Wire, I think you need to meet with me or call to discuss your words and their impact on your many Jewish fans who have been deeply troubled by them. I really need to know why you would say such terrible things.
Rabbi Larry Wachs,
Sheket Bivakasha Synagogue,
John's Creek, GA
PS--Will there be a sequel to Braveheart in the near future?
I'll alert you if and when a response is received.