A description in the AJC today about the newborn panda at the Atlanta Zoo:
"The nearly furless baby, about the size of a stick of butter, arrived at 4:51 p.m...
From now on we will express all units of measurement in terms of butter. This is huge!
It's not that people who care about the fate of panda babies are imbeciles, it's just a smarter way of getting people measuring again. There's been a serious slackening of interest, in people measuring or even guesstimating, particularly in the area of panda baby measuring. Now, because of this easy to use, common sense unit of measurement, it won't be long before the entire zoo and all the animals in it are made of real creamery butter so people can enjoy nature without upsetting and caging animals.
People who like butter a lot will now have greater access to measuring, thereby unlocking the door to careers in the construction trade, culinary arts, and urology, that were previously unavailable to decent folks who just didn't set well with things like inches and the cillomometers that the French use.
Hey, which NFL game would you rather watch?
"First and Ten for the Falcons?"
"First and 37 sticks of butter for the Falcons?"
Some will argue that the Twinkie or the Pringles can is a better tool of measurement, but only people who brag about their penises too much know about these products, so no. EVERYONE enjoys butter. Butter is the unversal language. Even Muslims have allowed butter into their bitter lives. Sometimes, it's the only joy they experience.
Butter. What a delicious way to size stuff up!