We’re all geared up for Halloween at the Wachs home with some of Big Candy’s top products. Local costumed sugar addicts will not be disappointed.
However, in order to access these treats, visitors to our door must, as is custom, sign any and all affidavits of indemnification, waivers of responsibility, and agree to have all transactions photographed and recorded for our protection. This year, an agent of the Nation of Islam will be stationed outside at all times to insure that only costumed youths under the age of 13 gain access to candy door. You’d be surprised at how fun Halloween still is after all that.
The competition for best costume will be fierce this year.
Look out, Kid Dressed as a Tampon. This young man is ready to flush you.
Ethical question: If his sister dresses like a piece of shit, is that considered incestuous or just damn cute?