I went to a wedding down the street from me last night.
This was the first wedding I've ever been where the best man and maid of honor were almost hit by a car during the ceremonial procession.
It was held outside, under a tent in front of our subdivision commons house, and the wedding procession had to cross the street before walking down the aisle. Ideally, someone should have been blocking traffic on either side for about 10 minutes while the ceremony went on, and barring that ideal, ideally, the person licensed to drive a green Camry in the state of Georgia would have the common sense to turn around on the circular street and reach their destination the other way, but no. They just zipped right through the middle of the wedding. Holy matrimony!
Maybe it'll bode well for the young couple, symbolizing what all people should do before taking this big step in their lives...look both ways before getting married.
After the ceremony, drinks were served and I got hammered on half a vodka due to an empty stomach and not having done any drinking in a few months. I walked home about 200 yards away, heated some leftover pot roast, ate, fell asleep on the couch to the soothing sounds of college football, woke up, and returned to the festivities in time for more food being served at the reception.
My 73-year old neighbor told me his idea for ending the War in Iraq. This morning, it still has the same merit as it did after a couple more vodkas and the euphoria of dancing with 55-year old women with giant boob jobs.
"It's simple. I'm 73 with military experience. I'm almost done.You send me to Iraq with some weapons and I'll go shoot those Al-Qaeda bastards in the head until they get me. I could probably get about 100 of 'em before I go."
I wept at the patriotism of this man. Imagine. A whole squadron of geezers, fortified by a nice, hot 4pm MRE, driving armored Rascals into the Middle East, fanny packs filled with bullets, ready to kill or be killed. The 101st Walker Infantry shuffling into terror enclaves, strapped with oxygen tanks, ready to blow them up for our great country, and the promise of sparing 72 grandchildren from paying Social Security and Medicare costs in the years to come.