I've been very busy this week thinking about myself. Everything has been about me, as it should be. After all, even the most mundane guy out there is singlehandedly supporting 10 families as soon as his feet hit the crumb-laden floor of the garlic fart smelling bedroom everyday. He's got his own, he's got the tax-eating mooches that glom onto his paycheck, plus there are overly needy co-workers who depend on him for their emotional nourishment, and on top of that, I, in particular, have been spending a lot of time with my new lawyer family. But now, while all is stable on the legal front, I thought I'd spend some time on you before I round out another day of being beaten by the man and settle in for another Jewish-hosted TV game show in tonight's 1 vs 100 on NBC, although nothing can match the most Semitic game show in history, Deal or No Deal, with Mandel exploiting the poor decision making processes of African-Americans with his little banker friend and the 25 golden shiksas. See ya next time, and stay tuned for "Where's the Rent?" with Andy Kindler.
I can tell you miss The Regular Guys Show, especially now that it's gone forever and into the realm of legend. The Regular Guys Podcast, in three days has already over 2000 listeners. I don't really know if that's good. Just sounds impressive to me at least. Plenty more segments going up in the days ahead. And the outraged emails continue to pour in. I can only wonder what poor Kay-Kay at the front desk of 96Rock has to deal with. I hope she hasn't collapsed. I know you also miss my take on things in the news. For many people, my insights, commentary, and opinion are like a swig of lemonade on a hot day. A little sour, but so quenching. So let me catch up on the news.
First, I'd like to point out that John Kerry's "botched joke" was not botched at all. I thought it was rather well told and very clear. John Kerry thinks military people are dumb. Good one. Ha! Now go suck on next week's election results.
Sure Madonna's an irritating, phony cuntlet and all, but I don't know why everyone is up in arms that she adopted this little black baby boy. OK, so she'll probably give it away to Goodwill in 4 years when he's not fashionable anymore, but right now, this kid's life immediately went from consorting with wild jackals to to a 5th Ave. penthouse in neck-snapping speed. People are acting like she took all the children from Africa at gunpoint and put them on a plantation, and dared Abe Lincoln to shut it down.There's no doubt that it would have been more interesting if Madonna moved to Africa to live with the kid instead. Kind of a "Brown Acres" sitcom thing could have been made out of that, but there's no denying that the little black baby that she picked up at that big box baby store known as Africa, is better off.
Evangelist Ted Haggard admitted Friday that he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a gay prostitute who claims he was paid for drug-fueled trysts by the outspoken gay marriage opponent.
Haggard resigned Thursday as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and stepped down as leader of his Colorado megachurch while the two groups investigate the allegations.
Why? He's against gay marriage, not gay reacharounds. In fact, the gay man who is married and has kids is the model of where I'd like to see the whole gay marriage thing headed. It's a lie we can all be comfortable with.
Why can paint thinner drinker Kitty Dukakis testify about the evils of alcohol and receive honors, but a sperm drinker like Ted Faggard be denied the opportunity to denounce the evils of too much gay? He should know by now. And Kitty Dukakis' anti- alcohol hectoring probably put him on the meth. He's only gonna be replaced by another closet case, anyway. Put him back up there. Preach on, village person!
Gotta go to the store and pick up the fixins for some "Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding" that I saw Paula Deen make on the Food TV channel today. I like her show because she comes across as a really sexy, fun hog.