Today, for the third time in a few weeks, I saw Hebrew written on the back of a Doraville cop car. Since Jews are not known for graffiti or other acts of vandalism, except for profit, I'm pretty sure the Hebrew lettering was put there on purpose by the Doraville Police. It looked very professionally done, not left to right as so many foolish amateurs and vandals would do.
I don't know what it says. My Hebrew school experience only got me to the point where I can distinguish Hebrew fonts and not mix them up with Arabic or Chinese fonts. I'm also not inclined to ask cops questions about their vehicle or read it when they're in the middle of apprehending a dangerous strip club refugee caught doing 65mph and when I'm doing 85.
I like it whatever it says. Hebrew on a cop car really gives dignity to a group of people who have been portrayed as sniveling little weasels by emasculated poodle males such as Ben Stiller, Woody Allen, and the cast of "Numbers" for far too long. That's why I have officially boycotted CBS' new show "Armed and Famous." Here's one of their press releases:
Erik Estrada, La Toya Jackson, Jack Osbourne, Jason "Wee-Man" Acuña and Trish Stratus Star In A New Series Which Follows Celebrities As They Become Working Police Officers in Muncie, Indiana.
Notice not a single Jew. Even that intractable, puffy pussy lip, Jack Osbourne gets to represent all the other hopeless offspring of British rockers. Oh, and midgets and lipstick lesbians and Hispanics on a police force? What city doesn't have that these days?
Bottom paragraph in the press release:
ARMED & FAMOUS is produced by Emmy Award winner Tom Forman ("Extreme Makeover: Home Edition"), Jeffrey Kramer ("Ally McBeal") and Michael Braverman ("Jesse Ventura's America") for Tom Forman Prods. and Good TV, Inc.
So I'm pissed at that show and I will boycott it until their JEWISH producers put me on it with Goldberg. I would be the clever, thinking Jew, and Goldberg would be the famous brawny Jew, and we would then get a spinoff series called, "Oy, You're Killing Me," and we would capture criminals and autograph their foreheads with money notation as follows
as our signature crime-fighting move, like Colombo would pretend to be forgetful, and Angela Lansbury would go down on suspects to get them to talk.
In addition to being an anti-Semitic show, "Armed and Famous" is also dangerous and immoral in it's conception.
There is some merit to the theory that celebrity cops can be an asset in apprehending criminals because their fame can disarm the criminal suspect who is a fan. And with literally millions of fans out there, as in the case of LaToya Jackson, who not only has her millions of fans, but also several more millions who mix her up with Michael and Rebbie, most of whom are no more than 2 degrees separated from a real criminal, it's liable to make a real dent in the Newark of the farm belt, Muncie, IN, much like Truman Capote did to clean up Kansas in the 60s.
However, in the long term, the acceptance of the idea that celebrities can become real cops is risible, and will no doubt be taken to extremes as do all things celebrities touch.
Now that celebrities have invaded poker, for example, you can't have a neighborhood game anymore without some guy arguing that we should use his yacht and he gets to select the whores and who's the sponsor for the hats and sunglasses? and should the $10,000 buy-in include catering? Whatever happened to a nice game of $5 limit with some beer, weed, sandwiches, and VCR porno in the in-law bedroom? Everything celebrities touch becomes complicated, man.
I have no doubt that, if successful, this show will push us all down a slippery slope, at the bottom of which lie Celebrity Only police forces in which normal, anonymous folks who are probably selfless, brave, and low maintenance are pushed out of the business of policing. Cops will give themselves televised awards every March. And say hello to your new drug-sniffing K-9 unit:
So let's boycott this ill-conceived, Anti-Semitic, self-hating TV program, "Armed and Famous," lest we wake up one day in the future and read headlines like this: