Oscars tonight. Who will win for biggest asshole? Al Gore? Mel Gibson? Dixie Chicks? Oh yeah. They already got their award for best politics at the Grammys. Do you actually have to produce any art that people want to consume to win awards these days? I think pretty soon someone will get an Oscar solely for their political views and bypass the whole recording process.
"And the Oscar for Best Picture goes to.....Hillary Clinton for repealing the Bush tax cuts for the rich!"
I only watch now so I can see if my phoned in security threats actually have any effect. Every year I buy a pre-paid off brand cell phone at Costco and call in some sort of security threat to the Red Carpet, and watch on TV to see if they panic and people get trampled. Last year, I called and said I was going to throw cuts of pork and beef at all the pale skinny actresses in protest of their vegetarianism and being poor role models for many nervous teenage girls.
And I watch for the fashions.
The only nominated movies I've seen are The Departed and Little Miss Sunshine, and seeing them win awards can only be frustrating and infuriating. The former because it was wildly over-rated. And the latter, because it was so good it makes me jealous.
The idea of rooting for a film in which you have no creative or financial interest to be rewarded with a trophy of a nude gold man is an odd cultural vanity. The person rooting for the film is having his tastes validated by seasoned showbiz professionals.
"I'm rooting for Jennifer Hudson because I voted for her on American Idol. I know talent."
Actually, I do hope Little Miss Sunshine wins so it'll convince Hollywood studios to beef up the comedy offerings. And why is "Borat" not nominated for Best Picture? It's a phenomenon. It's certainly as much a brand of genius as is "Marty" Scorsese, whose genius, alas, was over a generation ago. Let's catch up with the times, Hollywood. The bulk of the Oscar nominees are usually dour, self-important films that would be great if this were 1975. But it's not. LA used to pitch to America, now it catches.
- Music and Lyrics
- Wild Hogs
- Reno 911
- Another Tyler Perry film
Current Hollywood Comedies:
- The Office
- My Name is Earl
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force
- Family Guy
- Reno 911
- South Park
- Curb Your Enthusiasm
- Daily Show
- CBS Evening News w/ Katie Couric
Current TV Comedies:
Where would you rather put your glazed eyeballs? Movies are as funny as Atlanta morning radio these days. Sorry. I must refrain from critcizing the weak. Not very professional, and people might be hurt by my observations. I don't want to hurt anyone. Live and let suck I say.
It's also embarrassing to me as a citizen of the Atlanta Metro Area to be from a place known more for Tyler Perry than David Cross or Larry Wachs. I'd even take Finesse Mitchell.
Tyler Perry. Not even funny. I'd rather see Norbit. Hold on....wait...No I wouldn't. When we ban protecting ourselves from Muslim armies, can we slip a rider into the bill requiring that Eddie Murphy must cease making anymore vanity projects where he plays an entire army of cartoon blacks? We might as well salvage something out of the loose dignity rubble.