How much did you raise for MD this year, Jerry? Oopsie! Wrong caption.
Congrats to Al Gore on receiving the Oscar for his role in "Norbit." He must be in hog heaven. He was clearly overjoyed at the victory, but only because he thought he won Oscar Meyer.
Bravo to you Mr. Almost President! Mr. Vice President to the President of Vice! And thanks for saving the planet. Looks like you've been biking to work everyday. And to think, his wife is the one with the name Tipper. Wonder what she weighs?
And all the big stars there tonight, standing and worshipping the King of Beasts. Like Rashida Jones of "The Office," who was on SNL the night before in NY, and then back straightaway to LA on the next flight out to be in the audience for the Oscars in LA the very next evening, to cheer on Al Gore after burning through 80,000 gallons of jet fuel for the privilege.
The only real problem I have with his film is the title. The Global Warming Religion isn't an inconvenient truth at all. It's very convenient. It's a convenient way for people who got kicked out of their Arts Magnet School to appear knowledgable about science. It's a convenient way to assuage one's guilt over being wealthy. It's a convenient way to make people forget you're a guy who's not president even though he got more votes than the other guy. And it's a super convenient way to keep from the inconvenience of exercise and dietary restraint. And that's comforting to a man who looks like he's known nothing but convenience every second of his life.
Maybe my memory is fading, but didn't Hollywood despise the Gores for a stretch? How they chilled speech for artists by imposing their right-wing fascist ratings system on music? Well, turns out protecting children from Cyndi Lauper was a good idea, after all. So now all the Hollywood Hippies love him because he has an impressive track record for saving people, and after you've practiced your rescuing chops on children, well, it's only natural that you should be called to the bigs.
SAVE. OUR. EARTH.
Start by dropping about 100 lbs. Ooh! my aching crust. You're killing me down here, Al.