WOULD SOMEONE BUYOUT MY SNARKY BLOG ALREADY?

I'm eating a bowl of Kellogg's NEW! Cocoa Krispies Choco-nilla flavor cereal, where they've gone and mixed the Cocoa Krispies with some Vanilla Krispies.They didn't have the Rice Krispies with Strawberries so I settled for this combo. Not bad. They've done an excellent job of busing the Krispie races so that even an experienced cereal eater such as myself is stunned at the harmony of the flavors and how they form an entirely new flavor which can only be described as choconilla. I hope that scientists right now are working the DNA on a hybrid cacao / vanilla bean plant so that we may never run out of this marvel.

Here's a press release for the strawberry version entitled, After Nearly 80 Years, Snap!^TNCrackle!^TM & Pop!^TM Welcome Company to the Bowl. Maybe I'll hold off until I get clarity on that.

My wife asks if she can just have the Vanilla Krispies, which are not sold separately and, therefore, are highly-valued for their distinct and delicate flavor when eaten solo. Unfortunately, my gas chromotology skills have eroded over the years and I sold the machine that separates cereal bits on Ebay to a small police force in Idaho for $87.

Now my wife asserts that her brother has the skills to make such a machine, due to the fact that he led a top roadbuilding crew in Iraq safely and underbudget.

"He's a swell roadbuilder and soldier, honey, but that's not the same skill set."

"Bet me." Which I declined, because my wife has no cash and I'd only wind up taking stuff I bought her back to the store, and I don't have any of the receipts handy, and I don't feel like looking for them. It's a classic error of time management, collecting a bet from your wife. What does she have that you're not gonna get anyway? If her brother was that talented, he wouldn't be living in Upstate NY on a houseboat. No way.

But I do have projects in the works these days in addition to my continued work in the legal field of extricating myself from the October Surprise of 2006. I am happy to announce on that front, the great Barry Scheck has agreed to take my case as part of the Project Innocence he's founded.

In addition, I've been trying to devise a system that allows you to eat a nutritious meal while you jog. I'm not talking about a Power Bar kind of thing. That's not nutritious. It's candy...with some protein mixed in. You're better off having a Snickers and steak sandwich.

I'm talking about a well-cooked, nutritious, sub-gourmet meal as a Rachael Ray would present, in just a skimpy diaper and brassiere of course, to her admiring fans. Soups, salads, sandwiches, stews, entrees, dessert, with no needles, that could all be consumed while one is getting in his miles on a track or trail.

I'm also busy putting together a drive to make March Black Future Month. I think it sounds more positive. Speaking of pandering, here are my three favorite Super Bowl commercials:

• the one where the guy looked like he was gonna puke
• the one where the guy got hit in the balls.
• the one where the dog did human-quality stuff.

They made me forget that I lost every single bet I placed on the Super Bowl. So did the beer. Yesterday's Super Bowl taught me one thing. Never bet on the team with the Jewish QB. And don't eat things you can't identify, even if it's on a plate and hot.

BEARS QB REX GROSSMAN

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Update

The G-man is NOT Jewish. The G-man is NOT Jewish!

Still, don't bet on the QB with the Jewish-sounding name.

Don't put your money on a team led by Jay Fiedler or Sage Rosenfels in the SB.

I am not Jack Bauer's brother, either. Carry on.

Comments

[Petingtong]

Larry,

I was shocked to hear this, but apparently Rex Grossman is not Jewish. Per Jewishsports.com:

"Grossman is Not Jewish
October 29, 2000--Though we generally do not offer information on non-Jewish athletes, the high number of emails we have received regarding Florida QB Rex Grossman has prompted us to let our readers know that he is not Jewish."

Neither is David Eckstein, infielder for the St Louis Cardinals. Check out Wikipedia on that one.

My whole world has been thrown for a loop.

-Petingtong

[Stefan]

FINALLY !!!! Proof positive that you aren't Jacks bro !!! Maybe this will shut my wife up... I still remember her horror when she thought you got killed by that helicopter several years back on ER.