What a time to be in NY! The agreeable temperatures. Streets filled with liberal women in spring togs. It makes you forget you just spent $25 on a hamburger for lunch.
On my way to work each morning, I go by the throng of Harry Smith groupies standing outside the CBS Early Show studio window trying to get camera time and cheerily distracting home viewers from the stale chemistry and biased, infertile interviews unfolding before them on screen.
I always take some time to stop, watch the festivities with my morning non-fat Starbucks mocha and boost a few wallets. Today I had some extra time so I waded into the crowd and unzipped my fly. The ladies from Provo, Utah with the sign that read "Mitt is IT!" were so busy trying to get on camera, they didn't notice. It was really cool unzipping my fly and hearing everyone cheering and clapping at the same time. How often does that happen to a little feller like me? Not much.
Wow stickers! I am amazed at how much new ground is being broken in radio here in the past couple of weeks. Now, the guys on before me, Opie and Anthony have been suspended for doing a bit where the subject of the rape of Condoleeza Rice was brought up by a homeless gent. Here's the twist. They were NOT suspended from terrestrial radio. They WERE suspended from the satellite. What the Fudge?
Listen, XM. Your merger is not going to go through, it's quite clear, for reasons that have nothing to do with your content. Stop pretending you have standards all of a sudden. That's why people buy your service. You have no standards. And people will pay money for the adult and perfectly acceptable pastime of finding their own standards without the aid and guidance of governmental taste ministers. Don't go throwing innocent employees under the subway train because you think you can fool everybody with your newfound standards to appease the government into the merger that's never coming. Knock it off. You are embarrassing yourselves.
The funniest thing about this latest skirmish in the anti-radio wars is how no one wants to blame the homeless guy. Geez, Wachs. What's your problem? All he did was MAKE the comments!
Yeah, I know it's a nitpicky point, but let me have a moment. It's as if these censorship moguls are saying, "Well, he's mentally ill, so we're not going to take him seriously."
OK, well, perhaps he should be institutionalized? No? What then? I know. Why not punish him by giving him a job? Suspend his suspension from responsibility, sobriety, community. Let him fill in for Opie and Anthony. And if he doesn't show up for work, we kill him. I pronounce it fair. Innkeeper, run my bath, please.