I noticed that most of the individually wrapped Lindt chocolate balls at the checkout desk of Borders have been squished by unsupervised hands. If I were the Border's manager, I would review the security video and match up receipts with the timeline, find the addresses of the miscreants, and throw all the coffee shop trash on their lawn after work. And I would put up a sign next to the candies outlining this procedure explicitly so they know what's going on when they wake up and find Seattle's Once Best covering their lawn jockeys. How do you think Giuliani cleaned up NY? Same thing. The idle hands which are permitted without comment to squish the chocolate balls, will invariably test the limits upward until someone is damaged. Laugh now, but save some of that energy for picking up all the knocked over bookmarks.
This wrestler murder/suicide outrage has got me so emotional I haven't been able to speak for days. The idea that a whole family is just wiped out in an instant.... Even a small one takes years of work to put together and maintain. Man, that's hard to take.
I was listening to the radio this morning on the way to the foot doctor as the local practioners of poorly prepared commentary tried to tackle this problem of rampaging wrestlers. The need to blame and make logic of just plain crazy is always a fun struggle to listen to.
The 99Xcrement morning crew took the position that the wrestler killing his family was a sick thing. I took the position that the sick thing is that they have jobs and I don't. The celebrity dirt journalism segment informed us that the son had a rare generic disorder. So rare, yet, so routine.
"Your son has a rare generic disorder. It's called "That Thingy." I'm so sorry."
"But doctor, is there a cure?"
"Yes, but not yet."
Those lads are in good company in the medical news business, though. This bulletin just flashed across my screen from no less an authoritative source than the Associated Press:
LOS ANGELES - Comedian Richard Jeni, who shot himself to death in March, had a history of mental illness...
How about that? You don't say? Well, I'll be. Right out of left field.
Serving suggestion: You might want to start institutionalizing people again before the streets fill with more homeless, and wrestlers and comedians start wiping out their families epidemic-style.
Alright...OK...I know...It would interfere with their rights to...to...be a danger to themselves and us all. Ya don't have to get all snippy. Just a thought. Keep the borders wide open too while you're at it. What's the harm?
"Hey. Bentwand wasn't crazy, he was on steroids."
Hmmm. OK, but aren't 102% of wrestlers on steroids? How many kill their whole family in a premeditated act?
"He was anguished over his handicapped son."
Well, who isn't? It's not an easy thing, but this is not the 1400s. Plenty of people cope with severely handicapped children, and do so with less income, I might add. Last I checked, the government has fallen all over itself to make sure we live in a handi-capable world. Check your paystub and see how much is taken out for people who can't. I kick myself daily for not investing in the ramps and handicapped parking space contracting business in the late 80s when I had the chance.
Even in today's Wall St. Journal, (might need to subscribe, Ace) right in the middle of the front page....
Babes Among Elders: Nursing-Home Kids
Babes Among Elders: Nursing-Home Kids
COMMERCE, Ga. -- Ronnie Rivera, a 15-year-old in braided pigtails, sits in a wheelchair in a narrow hallway of Hill Haven senior-citizen nursing home.
Right here in the same state as where a high income narcissist and his apologists claimed his son's situation was so impossible he had no other choice than to flip the board and end the game, children and teens are using Medicaid to lawfully occupy space in a nursing home.
It's not a great solution, but it beats being put into a sleeperhold at home by Crazy Calhoun at age 7.
Now as we go on, doctors will be arrested for handing out scary stuff in bottles, Roe V. Wade will be scrutinized for it's role in our filicidal culture, and your old friend, TV violence, will pay us another pre-election visit. Nowhere will people be calling for the building of more insane asylums. That's too crazy. Are you nuts?