That's quite a fall from grace there, Ookie, when you're less popular at Virginia Tech than the kid who shot up the entire school last spring. Why is that?
I think it's because most people who claim to love animals are full of shit. They cry about puppies and then sit down to a nice animalfleshburger every lunch and dinner. You don't see people say they love people and then turn around and eat a Mexican, do you? It's irreconcilable.
"Oh, you're wrong. I refuse to eat anything with a face."
Aww. Aren't you a kind soul? Tell me. How'd they make the glue holding your Converse All-Stars together, and how much did the Chinese pay their staff of enslaved capuchin monkeys to apply it to the shoe? How many Dog Suffrage rallies have you attended lately? Oh, and good news, I hear they stopped doing animal testing on deodorant, so it's safe to stop stinking now.
Animal lover, my eye. You're a Noah of convenience.
I like the concept of animals as companions, but I also like the flexibility and options you have with animals that you don't have with your fellow man. You can eat them, force them to do labor for free, let strange children ride them. It's not a problem if they sleep in some pee, or don't get vacations ever.
"Yeah, but Vick killed them to be cruel."
And so... the steak you're eating once belonged to a cow who was really cool about the slaughter thing? That meat was pissed off when it found out it was destined to be killed and eaten by the people who fed it and let it relax and screw for a couple of years on their lawn.
Perhaps you didn't notice when the Croc Hunter bought the alligator farm last year that animals love to kill us for the flimsiest of pretenses. That sting ray wasn't content enough to be on a popular TV program. No, he had to kill the Croc Hunter and become THE MOST FAMOUS STINGRAY IN HISTORY! Jerkoff ray. Greed got you nowhere because now the world HATES YOUR GUTS!
Animals just don't share our sentimental appreciation for the others of nature. If the roles were reversed, and the dogs were training Vick to fight (which is the strategy I emailed his attorneys to take in court, but was ignored), those dogs would be heroes amongst their own kind. German Shepards, Siamese Cats, and the mongoose would all agree that it was righteous to train Mike Vick in the Art of Assassination.
"Ya' ll see my boy Vick, leap over the goal line, whip out that Glock and shoot that motherfucker on the other team in the face? Yo, my dog, that was fucked UP! Daaaammm. Now gimme my money 'cos I trained that bitch."
That's how it would go down in the Reverse Dog Planet. And then there's the world I think about sometimes where birds can bark. It's wild.
Get off your high horses, people. They're tired and hungry.