Unlike some imitation news jogs out there which pile 50-100 news stories on the unsuspecting reader everyday, the True Original News Jog here at the House of Wachs dot commer, understands that only 2-3 news stories per week are worth paying any attention to. The rest is bullshit and a waste of time.
Some weeks there are no such stories, but this week brings such a harvest that we've had 6 in two days! Roll out the barrel and catch them while you can. In fact, from now on the True Original News Jog title will be retired due to the fact that so many inferior competitors have cheapened the name News Jog.
And now, just in time for Rosh Hashanna and the new fall season, we are pleased to usher in The News Harvest!
So goes the headline which makes it seem like he got a break, when in reality, Belichick got screwed. If I were Eric Mangina, I'd buy Kevlar before entering Massachusetts. There's your low life right there. Half a million dollars for doing something that every team in the NFL and MLB does as routinely as lining the field. That's like a rapper suing another rapper for calling him the dreaded n-word. Can't compete in real life? Just introduce political correctness into the equation.
I like how Belichick sacked up and took it in stride without apology or commentary. That's a warrior, not a politician.
Stealing another team's signals during a game is not close to cheating. It's expected. Everybody does it. Does that make it right? Yes. It does. It's not cheating if everyone does it.
"Oh, but what if everybody decided to rob banks. Would that make it right? Huh?"
Yes. It would. That would indicate that the societal norm has shifted, making it cool to rob banks. But currently, you'll note only a tiny fraction of the population robs banks. Why? Because it's still wrong. There's no way around it.
The hell with the Falcons. They'll never get this concept. Blank is a politician, not a winner. I'm officially adopting the Pats as my favorite team. If there are any forms I need to fill out let me know, but the great thing about rooting for a team is that you can start whenever you like, so it's official to me. Maybe I'll call the Patriots later to let them know as a courtesy. I'm sure they would love to hear the support from a neutral state in the war between the Yanks.
The only real qualification you need is to declare before the 3rd game of the season. After that is bandwagon jumping.
David Hanson has two little Zenos to care for these days. There's his 18-month-old son Zeno, who prattles and smiles as he bounds through his father's cramped office. Then there's the robotic Zeno. It can't speak or walk yet, but has blinking eyes that can track people and a face that captivates with a range of expressions.
At 17 inches tall and 6 pounds, the artificial Zeno is the culmination of five years of work by Hanson and a small group of engineers, designers and programmers at his company, Hanson Robotics. They believe there's an emerging business in the design and sale of lifelike robotic companions, or social robots.
I'm sorry. Did any of you call me? I couldn't hear the phone because the Creepy Alarm is going off in my head.
Shouldn't we be investigating instead of praising the loser who spends his time making mechanical young boys? It's offensive. Besides, the market clearly points to an insatiable demand for mechanical females. Everybody I know wants one.
Rosie O’Donnell used to break her own limbs with either a baseball bat or a wooden hanger when she was a child. This revelation, as well as many about her experiences on "The View" last year, is contained in a new book she’s written due shortly called “Celebrity Detox.”
What a shocker. Nasty fulminating dyke who flogs herself for attention as an adult did same during childhood. Hey Rosie! Bush sucks, but do you think he broke his own bones when he was a kid? I don't see it.
Let me put that headline in better perspective. Ideally, I'd have it read:
Rosie O’Donnell used to break her own limbs with either a baseball bat or a wooden hanger when she was a child, helping her become one of the foremosts experts on American foreign policy and stem cell research.
Rosie forgot to mention the ugly stick, and I think the hanger was used too late in her development to do society any good. Other than that, I hear she's a wonderful husband.