Great episode tonight of "Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency." Did you see it?
Janice invites the organizers from the LA chapter of PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) to come in to strong arm her agency and all the models into giving up fur.
So the PETA guy tells all the models that his job is to go undercover to investigate the practices of fur makers. It's easy to see how he could sneak unnoticed into their farms and factories what with his inconspicuously blonded surfer haircut, colorful surfer blouse, and madras cargo shorts. The same disguise that helped him infiltrate GLAAD while he was working for Scientology.
He wants Janice's guys and gals to go outside to Hollywood Blvd. and take off their clothes in protest of fur, on the theory that the best way to convince the fur wearing public to abandon wearing fur is for hot men and women to threaten them with nudity.
"I don't know, Darryle. If we continue to wear fur those hot guys with great abs and big shaved ones over there might take off their clothes and start teabagging. Maybe we should stop."
It's a tribute to the horniness of guys that not a single male model questions the motivation of the dreamy PETA organizer.
As if these professional attention-cravers need anymore convincing to go nude on Hollywood Blvd, the PETA soldierette then shows the emotionally fragile group a video about how furs are made.
And it's all this footage of some busted up animals getting skinned alive in the 80s at some rogue fur outfit, likely in the Third World, by people who have been languishing in a Burmese prison since 1986, and they strawman it as representative of the entire fur industry. And if it weren't for these evil fur people, why, these animals would be free to run their own businesses and take their kids to the mall and get regular checkups from a family physician at a low universal price.
I don't think the crying was any less than the day Freddie Mercury died.
Then Janice tells the models--only because it's required by law--that any model who wishes to retain their dignity and opt out of the festivities, could do so without retribution. HA!
One shyly does, and she is immediately crucified by the still red-eyed males around her.
"I'm just curious," says one bossy hugo. "Why did you choose not to help? I don't understand"
"Let me ask you," she replies. "Why do you choose sex with other men? I don't understand."
No, I made that part up. She didn't say that. That's what I would have said to this Speedo clad bully. Tend your own garden, Lollipop.
After the nude anti-fur rally, which results in a sharp increase of animals being beaten for their pelts, it's back inside the agency for champagne and poppers to celebrate the top notch morality work they have performed for mankind and the all the little creatures of the forest who lie still with their skulls caved in.
Every episode a riot. It's like watching a society on Neptune with this show.
I didn't read her book, but I understand that Janice Dickinson has been a victim of bad men, and that's tough on a gal. I like Janice. She looks fun and she's very smart and experienced, but she hates herself. She's very crude and tough. Not at all soft and graceful as a woman of her age should be if she were comfortable with herself. We saw what happened to Heath Ledger after bad experiences with men. He didn't even get an Oscar for that. Ya gotta give a guy an Oscar if he takes a rogering in a movie. They gave one to Daniel Day-Lewis and all he had to do was learn to paint with his feet. Big deal.
So, Miss Janice, I would suggest that the best way to deal with the demons of being knocked around by bad men in the past is to not appropriate and incorporate their behavioral characteristics into your own personality profile. It's not a turn on, a 60-something chick with a Picassoesque face and a sailor's mouth, who behaves like the daughter of Tara Reid and Mr. T. Just not sexy.
The crazy thing is, fur and leather are biodegradable and natural - pleather is not! It NEVER biodegrades and all that plastic ends up in the oceans. Stupid Morons.
Posted by: dorrie | January 26, 2008 at 11:50 AM