OK, fuck it. I changed my mind. Man's prerogative. My last post brought nothing but negative reaction and embarrassment. Burger King brought back the Whopper.
I will post when I get the chance, and right now I have the chance. Rejoice.
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In Whole Foods I saw a magazine with big fat Paula Deen on the cover. What is healthy about her cooking? Organic lard?
Why is it that Whole Foods doesn't carry People Magazine at their checkout stands? What religion are they running in there that gossip and humor are in the same category as trans-fats?
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Everytime I jog past this one house in my neighborhood, a crazed poodle (I think it's Korean owned which explains the neuroses) leaps out of the bushes and acts like an asshole toward me. It can't go very far or else it's electronic collar zaps it. Ethically, I have no problem teasing the dog so it shocks itself over and over again until it learns. Get some manners crazy poodle!
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On the news, I heard a reporter give the grim story of how an inner city youth named DeAnthony was killed in some inner city mischief. I can't help but think that his name had a little something to do with the fact that he was DeAnthonized. When you name your kid in the negative such as DeAnthony, or UnShawn, or Nochelle, you have to understand that you are putting a target on their back. Henceforth, I am calling my daughter, Proretha.
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At the QT one recent morning:
CLERK: 53 cents is your change. Come on back.
He left the register to go to the back room of the store, so I followed him. Maybe I won a prize for being a polite customer.
CLERK: WTF are you doing back here?
ME: You told me to come back.
Turns out that's what they tell people to make them return to the store in the future.
We had a good laugh about the mix-up and he invited me to sit on the milk crates with him and look at a copy of Juggs magazine he stole from the rack up front.
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Police station cars outside of bars on the theory that dangerous drivers will be leaving the parking lots late at night. That may be true, but my experience of late is that more dangerous drivers are leaving hospitals than bars and nightclubs. Twice in the past two weeks, I've swerved to avoid women crying as they leave the hospital. God knows what goes on in there, but it makes them lose control of themselves. Women, disease, driving. That's a deadly cocktail, friends.
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Hey, Gator fans who get Georgia plates with the Gator logo. I'm buying a pack of Sharpies to keep in the car. Just lettin' ya know. Isn't it enough that you steal our water? You want a Florida tag? Move to GODDAM FLORIDA!!!
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Billy Ray Cyrus recently apologized for his daughter, Hannah Montana, not wearing seatbelts in her movie...in 3D yet!!! I appreciate the sentiment, but I can handle this.
Well, Daddy. Hannah Montana doesn't wear seat belts. (LOUD BELT NOISE ON KID'S ASS)
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Here's a photo of Gary Coleman getting married.
Gross!
The gays must be really pissed. It's really rubbing their noses in it when this marriage can occur but their's cannot.
rejoice the king is back
Posted by: Rodney | February 17, 2008 at 10:28 PM
Don't they make a cute couple
Posted by: Bert | February 23, 2008 at 12:31 AM
Larry Sir....you are way too funny. I'm glad I have a morning show with some intelligence instead of Mellissa of the Bert show trying to validate her gayness. Keep up the good work.
Posted by: Russell | March 02, 2008 at 11:33 AM