THE A**HOLE MYSTIQUE

I’ve had it with the Barack Obama myth.

Geraldine Ferraro had it about right, but she fouled it off. Yeah, Barack Obama is getting ahead of that dear sweet old lady, Hillary Clinton, partly because he’s perceived as black. But, so what? Isn’t that only leveling the playing field when Hillary is working her glass ceiling con?

They both represent grievance groups. The guy from the slave people vs. the lady from Feministicism. It’s a wash.

What Geraldine was trying to say was that Barack Obama is an a**hole. You might say that Hillary is one, too, and you’d be correct. I might add that she’s been an obvious a**hole for many years. What’s really propelling Obama’s rise is not his skin hue, but the fact that most of the public doesn’t realize what an a**hole he is just yet.

All the signs are there. The inexperience. The untenable Marxist ideas. The wife deeply suspicious of whites, and the capper this week, the revelation of the Pat Robertson level reasoning, mouth foaming, brow sweating, America-hating preacher in Obama’s inner circle of advisers. Of course, apologists for such behavior will blame conservatives for making a big deal out of nothing.

“Hey, Obama didn’t say it.” Of course not.  Obama was just watching and occasionally having long private conversations with this virtual stranger. Now, that Mitt Romney… Whoo, boy! THAT was a crazy kinda Christian. You need to look into that Mormonism. I believe they take several wives at a time, they do.

Jimmy Carter was a jerk who got lucky by following a slimy Republican and running against a statue who pardoned the slimy Republican. He was folksy and southern, and America’s lefties, feeling guilty for treating the ancestors of slave-holding crackers in such disregard for years, felt obliged to help the South rehab itself  by encouraging the folksy, New South Carter into high office. Problem was, Carter disliked Jews and was a coward in the face of dictators. It wasn’t until he was in office and scolding America for not wearing sweaters that America figured out what an a**hole he was.

Obama is an a**hole whose time will come soon enough, so let’s set that aside and inspect the aftermath of an a**hole whose time has come and gone.

The Governor who wanted to be an Emperor, Elliot Spitzer, made the quickest exit from public life since Bud Dwyer, but I think The Spitz will be plenty OK after all this dies down. Fans of injustice will recall that, before he was Attorney General and Governor of NY, he was well known by many to be a plain a**hole  with money. Now that he's back to being a plain a**hole with money,  I'm sure the adjustment won't be so difficult for him.

Ms. Ashley Dupre, fresh from allowing Mr. Spitzer to give her an exit poll, has left Manhattan what with the media hounding her because they are outraged she's taken jobs from illegal Mexicans and Koreans.

She will now calmly and rationally, with her team of porn advisors,  ponder the many career offers that are pouring in from oil companies, think tanks, the military, research laboratories, Microsoft, Google, and Bill Clinton.

She's gonna be OK in life. Her problems are over. Now, she'll earn enough to keep her in clubs, drugs, and 24-hour diners until she reaches her expected life span of 37. Besides, no one I know disputes that her pop single is a monster #1 hit, so she's got some back up cash in case a protracted bidding war heats up between Saudi princes and hedge fund managers.

Remember her philosophy as summed up in her pithy MySpace page maxim. "What destroys me, strengthens me." How true. Who amongst us doesn’t gain strength from being destroyed? Look at Elvis. Falling off a toilet seat to his death was about the wisest decision he ever made.

So whether it’s the rap desperadoes she hangs out with who eventually manage to go through all her money, or the GNP of Peru that turns her vascular system into a human Ganges, Ashley Alexandra Dupre Youmans Romo is made from the stuff of survival. No, don't cry for her, America.

But has anyone given any thought during this mess to how all this must make Ashley's cousin feel? It must be torture being the cousin of a high dollar prostitute. All those years of, "I want to, but I can't" has now suddenly become "I EASILY COULD HAVE!!!" (groan)

Tough break, kid. But look at the bright side. If no relative made those late night visits to sis' room, America would still be without it's first blind governor. You can't argue with progress, even when it seems like it's dirty and illegal.

Comments

[FJ]

Im sick and tired of Barack Obama already. He does hate white people. If he is elected president it will be bad for the entire county, and people who voted for him will regret it.

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WACHS:

It's like you read my mind!

[Rodney]

So your for Hilliary Clinton.
You love those older women

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WACHS:

Your comprehension of the material is impeccable.

[Frank]

don't you know by now Hilliary is our next president?