Eric and Steve were too sick for school today, so we all took a best of and I caught up on my busyness. As of blogpublishing time, we should be a go for tomorrow's TRG broadcast on Rock 100.5 at 6am.
As one of Atlanta's most notable Jews, I've been asked to participate in an event sponsored in part by Heeb Magazine, part of the Cool Jew Craze now allegedly sweeping the nation by the likes of Seth Rogan, Adam Sandler, Sarah Silverman, and all those people.
The event organizers even gave me free copies of Heeb to peruse in order to prepare for the panel discussion, "The Impact of Jews in Pop Culture." In keeping with the stereotype, the copies were from 2007. Have they not published since?
The Impact of Jews on Pop Culture. Is there a doubt that Jews have had an impact? Dominance comes to mind. But what has that gotten us lately?
Iran and friends want to wipe the Jews out. Maybe they don't get the genius of the Three Stooges? The gays run Hollywood now. Didn't they see Jaws? Bernie Madoff is getting his ass kicked in prison. Maybe Rickles went over the line a time or two, but come on! OK, not even the box office receipts of all the Spielberg movies bundled in a large suitcase and handed over to his victims could right that wrong. Ass kick away, prisoners.What's going on kosher dog? Being tops of the pops is not really cutting it, I'd say. It's like being the best harpist at the Monsters of Rock.
Last week, a band of militant rabbis decided that lox should no longer be considered kosher, threatening the validity of so many Sunday brunches past and present. The implications for thousands of kosher Jews who have eaten lox cannot be calculated. Will they need their entire gastro-intestinal system flushed out or replaced? Should there be an asterisk painted in lamb's blood on Sunday brunch photos that feature the family gathered around a dish of lox? I personally don't give a damn because I refrain from any dietary guideline that doesn't impact my sexiness and I hate lox. Too fishy.
To me, this makes the rabbis look greedy, waiting for a multi-million dollar bribe from desperate lox companies who will pay dearly for their kosher status back. I wouldn't be surprised if Big Bacon stepped up to the plate with a billion dollars to get it's pork products reclassified...and they'd probably get it!!! Buncha corrupt fux. Making lox unkosher because of a technicality? Have you lost your mind? We've got technology now to replace those urban desert myths. And don't think that keeping kosher scores big points in the popular culture anymore. Ya know who else keeps kosher? Yup, the brown guys in funny hats who like to blow up things, and I'm not referring to Grampa Irv in Miami with a hooker.
I'm going to try to take a survey at the discussion festival of how many Jews in the room consider themselves right wing, expecting there will be a lack. I might point out that the beloved Israel we pay lip service to here in the US is filled with right wing Jews who are the only reason why Israel still exists. They have balls the size of beautiful Vidalia onions those people do and manage with an ocean of hatred surrounding them. Even the water has Jew-eating sharks there. They don't survive because thy are court jesters to the new king, and they don't tolerate 7/8ths of the crap American and European Jews do. Do not mess with the Zohan!
There will be lots to discuss with my fellow Heebs and I look forward to it. My goal, as always, is to solve all the problems in one panel discussion. Sunday, 3/14, 10am, Oglethorpe's Lupton Hall. Lox is optional.
Peteetong!
Comments