"I invite you to embrace Islam. There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent."-Osama, on his new tape, 9/7/07
Starting to like Osama now, aren't you? Yeah me, too.
I didn't know Islam was such a low tax religion. Now that I think about it, if you don't consider totalitarianism a 100% tax on human life, I guess it is better than the US. It all depends on how unconscious you can will yourself.
Hey, dude! Going to the big environmental concert with Dave Matthews in Piedmont Park tomorrow? It's the first concert designed to keep people from getting to it, so I'm not going. That's how much I want to see this concept work. I like the idea of people who use 50 times more energy in one day than I do all year, charging me 100 bucks so I can be lectured by them to use less energy. It's a whole new psycho-sexual category. EM! Enviro-Masochism. One day parents will catch their kids in the bathroom pleasuring themselves to pictures of the Amish.
Ooooo, build that barn, baby. Do it without electricity..yeah....you like that don't you?...you...make....it...so...inconvenient....ahhahhaahh...MMMGHHHIIIJJJJKKKLERRRR!!!
For weeks, organizers have sent e-mails warning ticket buyers there will be no venue parking available, and newspaper and radio ads include the car-less admonishment. It could result in the busiest day in MARTA's history, considering Saturday's events also include a Georgia Tech football game, a Braves game and a concert at HiFi Buys Amphitheatre.
I wonder how Dave Matthews and the Allman Brothers are getting to the show. Probably walking or biking from their houses, I'll bet. I'll tell you what if you have a ticket. Get there early, because it's gonna be hard to hear the non-amplified instruments past the first two rows. Perhaps someone will hold a cardboard megaphone in front each instrument and singer. That should help.
If people really cared about the environment, someone could bootleg the show, burn it onto a DVD and send it to me. You'd save a lot of gas.
One thing you never see is a villian tell Superman or Batman to go fuck themselves. Never. You would think with all that's at stake in their ambitious plans, and as insane as some of them are, they'd have told Superman or Batman to fuck off once or twice. You would think that an arch-villian would have the means to bribe a cop to claim that Superman tried to have sex with him in the men's room, or buy a copy of Photoshop and retouch a photo to make it look like Aquaman was drinking a girl's pee. Say what you will about The Penguin and his ilk, but at least they were gentleman.
Nike makes the worst products in this weekend athlete's opinion. It seems like they'll slap their name on anything that comes out of a Chinese textile mill that pays two chickens a week. I don't think I'm alone. In the Wall St. Journal they chatted up Christopher Vidal, extended adolescence enthusiast and consultant.
Christopher Vidal has more than 400 pairs of sneakers crowding his New York City apartment. He makes sure to wear each pair -- if only once.
The 34-year-old Mr. Vidal grew up in Brooklyn in the 1980s and became obsessed with skateboarding and street fashion. When he's picking out a pair of sneakers to wear today, he likes to hark back to that period. He says you can't go wrong with a pair of Nike Air Force One basketball shoes that first came out in 1982 and are now hot items among sneaker aficionados. "This is not a comfortable shoe, but it's become a keepsake," Mr. Vidal says.
My Nike golf bag recently broke. I didn't think a golf bag could break, but this one did.
It's hard to steal a golf bag from a store, so I searched all over my house for the PGA Superstore gift card I received at a tournament for "Furthest From the Pin." The non-Nike bag, after gift card, wound up costing me about 42 bucks. It's the next best thing to stealing really, especially for the nifty features they include on the bag.
Finally, a label telling everyone where my valuables are so they know not to go in there.
OK, I'm going to get some rest. Started a new bowling league this Wednesday, so it's a little hectic around here, and Week 1 of Fantasy Football kicks into high gear on Sunday, and I must rest so that my mind can control the players better as I watch them on TV.