House of Wachs

VOICE MAIL IDOL

Time for our new show, Voice Mail Idol, where you can be a star by simply dialing your phone.

Our first contestant is a local scenester. You've heard him on the Regular Guys Show. He was briefly known as Mr. Atlanta, and recently called us here at Voice Mail Idol. Please welcome the comic musings of

Garrett, the 41-Year Old Intern!!!

Points off because the waveform of Garrett's call on my editing software looks like a large dugan with some piercings. Kinda like a Goth Dork. It's sending the wrong message.

If you have something of interest to say, call my cell phone. The winner can be my friend. Deadline for entry 1/15/07.  Make sure to vote for your favorite.

Thanks for listening to....Voice Mail Idol!!!

Hiroshima's Revenge

This is my Sudoku puzzle from today's paper:

"Puzzle called on account of shitty newsprint."

I lost interest in this particular puzzle because I couldn't see anymore after two hours of strain. This was a relatively easy puzzle according to the star rating at the bottom and that pissed me off.

Fuck you Sudoku! 

The puzzle and, by logical extension,  the Japanese people, are mocking me. See if I buy anymore fancy cameras and cellphones again. Hello Nokia!. You don't see the Fins harrassing us with their superior math wisdom.

Fuck you Japs!

I'm going to go out and purchase special Sudoku-calibrated pencils and erasers. Do any exist? That's hardcore. And the local shithead newspaper should either commit to better paper or stick with the Jumble and get out of the Sudoku business altogether. When you get the news correct, then you can monkey with Japanese puzzles.

Fuck you AJC!

The American economy must be going gangbusters if we can afford the luxury of another time-wasting Japanese fad on our shores.

Fuck you Tamagotchi!

I'm 1 for 6 in Sudoku so far, and that needs to change soon. This ain't gonna be my Rubik's Waterloo. I can't wait for this to be unpopular to do.

Fuck you faddish behavior and the desire to conform!