I got this full color brochure in the mail from my bowling league:
These are rings for people who have bowled exceptionally well.
If I bowled a 300, I sure would want a ring. It's impressive.
Hey, why wait? Honestly, I don't have the patience it takes to bowl a 300. League bowling is filled with distractions like drunks, molesters, and truly ugly women, and the 3 games go at a pace where it's hard to get into a groove.
I'm going to call them tomorrow and see if I can get a ring without bowling a 300. My guess is that they will say no and have me arrested for perjury. It's not like bowling has spare integrity they can just throw around. After all, it's a sport where most participants leave with more unburnt calories than when they started.
What I cannot understand is why anyone would buy one of those 299 rings. They also offer 298 rings and the "11-in-a-row" ring, for people who knocked down 1 pin with their last ball.
How much attention in your life are you lacking when you pay 70 bucks to purchase a ring that commemorates your misses?
Can I interest you in this special sock?
I called to purchase a ring without bowling 300, and the lady--who was recording the call for quality control--said they verify all claims. No 300, no ring.
I think that maybe the USBC should be in charge of our borders.